senior

a full week now i have been a senior in college. the campus is filled with unfamilliar faces of freshmen, memories and more adventures to come. i'd be lying if i said i was cool with all this senior business. it freaks me out. being a senior in high school i was eager to leave a place i didnt fit in to the new land of bellingham. now i find myself having to come to terms with leaving bellingham at the end of this year and behind me the daily friendships i have formed over 4 years.

the whole nature of college is really unique and i am so fortunate to have had the experience i do going to a university. when else during your life will you be placed in a place tentatively among peers, eager and ambitious to learn!? very few opportunities from now on will present themselves where i will be in such a community.

inside that community i am one person. i walk by hundreds of people a day all on their own journey in life and i start to second guess my own intentions. am i who i want to be or how i want people to see me? should others opinions even matter with 9 months left?

in 9 months i still want to be:
- engaged in the community
-creating my own identity as a human services professional
-surrounded my people who take, give, love, advise, support and make me laugh
-letting go of grudges and people who bring out my insecurities and if my weakness' present themselves, i deal with them and grace and maturity not jealous and self-righteousness.
-with a partner who pushes me to live my dreams
-traveling
-still playing my guitar
-reading more
-working in an art studio
-dressing more like me

i just got overwhelmed writing this. i cant put into words my excitement and nervousness and the secrets i keep to myself. to be continued.